Cooking School - Widows in India

Date: 7 October 2010 15:54

Yes I went to cooking school in Udaipur. (Two cute German girls
persuaded me to give it a go). And yes I will cook for people if they
ask.

However the cooking however wasn't the most interesting part.

Our teacher; a Brahmin widow (Brahmins are upper caste Hindus)had an
amazing story. She was left destitute with the death of her husband
but now she has risen to be one of the top cooking teachers in Udaipur
with a wait list even in low season. Abandoned by her relatives due to
shame over the husband dieing and traditionally unable to remarry she
was practically destitute. According to many, widows are often
sexually abused by the husbands relatives after the husband dies or
they are thrown on the funeral pyre. This is sometimes done by choice
or by force. Usually they are drugged and only wake up on the pyre
when they are burning.  Although this tradition is now illegal it
still happens in the villages and the abuse often in the cities.
Without a husband they do not have a protector or place in society.
Many turn to street begging if they are thrown out of their homes on
their husbands death.

Instead this particular widow went into mourning as is custom.
Firstly, 45 days of fasting (small morning meals ok) while sitting in
a darkened room while friends and relatives spend the time wailing and
crying in shifts in front of her. After the first 45 days of sadness
the visitors stop and she was not allowed to leave the house for a
year with only her very young children for company. Penniless with her
family starving she would sneak out in the early hours of the morning
to do cleaning jobs to make a few dollars to feed her family. She
always returned before sunrise. Eventually, she convinced some
tourists to come eat at her place despite her non-existent English.
Word spread about her delicious cooking and through these meals and
interactions she learnt English. Her cooking was stellar and soon she
was asked to teach people. Travelers taking pity painstakingly typed
out her recipes providing the basis for her many handouts in a
multitude of languages. Before long she was in the Lonely Planet
guidebook creating a lineup of potential students at her door.

Most widows are not so lucky. The government does provide a few
"lucky" women with a room in apartment blocks to keep them off the
street.